My December : The College Chronicles: Brooke
by JillRJohnson
Summary: Filling in the gap between high school and the beginning of season 5. My December, the latest CD from Kelly Clarkson, is the soundtrack for Brooke's college years. The next CD will chronicle another character. All stories will be parallel.
1. Never Again

**Author's Note:** OK! Here comes another story. This time around, I'm filling in the gaps between high school graduation and when season 5 is supposed to take place. My December chronicles Brooke during those missing years. The next story I write, will chronicle another character, so forth and so on. All future stories dealing with the college chronicles will parallel one another. All in the same time frame. It's confusing, but maybe it'll all come together.

Okay…here goes:

**My December:**

The College Chronicles BROOKE 

_**Never Again**_

Brooke wiped at her eyes for the third time in an hour. She couldn't believe it was happening and yet she couldn't put down the newspaper clipping. Haley had sent it to her knowing she would want to know. She put the black and white words down on her desk and picked up her copy of Jack Kerouac's, "On the Road." She had no idea what Jack was trying to say, but she had to read it. It was part of the classes she had to take for her core curriculum. Winter finals were next week and if that weren't bad enough, Chase was engaged and it wasn't to her.

_**I hope the ring you gave to her  
turns her finger green  
I hope when you're in bed with her  
you think of me**_

She couldn't concentrate on anything. Her heart felt empty and her mind was dancing in a fog of anger and sadness. She had fallen head over heels in love with Chase, and not three months after they went to separate colleges, he had dumped her. Hard. He had left her only a letter. A letter she had never read. In tradition of Tree Hill girls and the letters their loved ones left behind…she burned it.

_**  
I would never wish bad things  
but I don't wish you well  
Could you tell  
by the flames that burned your words  
I never read your letter  
'cause I knew what you'd say  
Give me that Sunday school answer  
Try and make it all okay  
**_

He had come to visit her at the Fashion Institute of Technology in New York City. They had made loveand then the next morning he had left her the letter. She had been so shocked that she hadn't had time or energy to be angry with him. He left with a sad face, as though it had been his heart that had been broken.

"Bastard," Brooke hissed as she finally tossed the clipping into the wastebasket next to her desk.

"Who's a bastard?" Brooke's dorm mate came in and looked amusingly at the crumpled newspaper in the trash.

Brooke shrugged, "Hey Mandy…no one."

"Well, whoever he was, Brooke, he's a loser. Look at what I picked up."

Brooke took the magazine from her hand and smiled. Satisfaction was hers. Brooke's face adorned the front cover of the latest fashion magazine. The hottest new trendsetter to come along in years, they were saying. Brooke's fashion line was on fire and so was her popularity. She was a rising star and Chase Adams was nothing.

"Let's celebrate!" Mandy said grinning, "Ladies night at the club tonight."

Brooke's face lit up with enthusiasm, "Sounds like a great idea! I'm not going to get any studying done tonight anyway. Not now."

She looked at the magazine proudly. It was a great picture and the interview inside was humble and low key. Brooke Davis had something to be proud about. She was going to be someone bigger than anyone she had ever known. She could feel it.

_**  
Does it hurt  
to know I'll never be there  
Bet it sucks  
to see my face everywhere  
It was you  
who chose to end it like you did  
I was the last to know  
you knew  
exactly what you would do  
And don't say  
you simply lost your way  
She may believe you  
but I never will  
never again  
**_

"What a great night," Brooke yelled over the pulsating beat of the dance music. Her hand was wrapped tightly around a rum and coke.

Mandy nodded as she continued to dance. They had been drinking and dancing for two hours. Brooke was having fun, but her mind kept reverting to Chase and the picture of him and his new fiancee. She was gorgeous. Straight blonde hair, bright big eyes. Perfect build. Brooke would have hated her in high school.

"Are you thinking about Chase?" Mandy asked, half-concerned, half-annoyed.

Brooke shrugged, "Just thinking about his future trophy wife. She's going to be surprised when she finds out what a loser he is."

"He'll probably do the same thing to her that he did to you," Mandy offered.

Brooke nodded, but instead of replying loudly over the sound of the music, she just closed her eyes and downed her drink. She wasn't here to remember. She was here to forget.

_**  
If she really knows the truth  
she deserves you  
A trophy wife Oh, how cute  
Ignorance is bliss  
But when your day comes  
and he's through with you  
and he'll be through with you  
You'll die together, but alone**_

In the midst of a crowded nightclub she had never felt so alone in all her life. She hadn't talked to anyone back home in months. Even after she and Peyton had the most amazing summer together rebuilding their friendship and after promising to never let go of their friendship, she hadn't called Peyton in two months. And she hadn't been called by Peyton.

Haley sent her the occasional letter, or newspaper clipping. Unfortunately. Not talking to Haley often didn't bother Brooke nearly as much as not talking to Peyton.

The drunker she felt, the more she missed her P. Sawyer. She scanned the jumping dance floor with blurred vision. She hugged Mandy as only a drunk college girl could. Mandy laughed. It was then that Brooke's blurred vision fell upon the door of the night club.

_**  
You wrote me in a letter  
you couldn't say it right to my face  
Well, give me that Sunday school answer  
repent yourself away  
**_

Brooke blinked twice to clear the fog from her hazel eyes. She watched him walk through the club instantly seeing her. There was no way. She knew she had to be drunk. She felt a hand on her shoulder. It was Mandy.

"He's really here, isn't he?" Brooke slurred.

Mandy nodded, "You want to just leave?"

Brooke shook her off, "Nope. It's about time I had a word with Chase Adams."

_**  
Does it hurt  
To know I'll never be there  
but it sucks  
to see my face everywhere  
It was you  
who chose to end it like you did  
I was the last to know  
you knew  
exactly what you would do  
And don't say  
you simply lost your way  
They may believe you  
but I never will  
never again**_

Chase hadn't said a word outside of the club. He had dragged Brooke there to talk, and all he had gotten was an earful of pain and venom. He took it quietly, knowing he deserved it.

_****_

Never again will I hear you  
Never again will I miss you  
Never again will I fall to you  
Never  
Never again will I kiss you  
Never again will I want to  
Never again will I love you  
Never!  


Brooke felt good ranting and raving at the one person who deserved it. She was still drunk so the words were flung carelessly at him. She could tell she was affecting him. His face looked shameful. Even remorseful.

"Brooke," Chase finally interrupted.

"What? Damn it!" Brooke was beyond pissed.

Chase couldn't meet her gaze, "I had to come and find you. They told me to find you."

Brooke began to get nervous, "Who, Chase. Who told you to find me?"

"Luke and Nathan. They wanted me to come in person."

Brooke felt like she needed to sit down, so she lowered herself to the street curb. Taxis passed by but Brooke's hearbeat drowned out the sound of their motors. She finally looked up at Chase. His face was etched with worry and concern. Brooke could feel the love in his eyes. She looked away.

"What happened?" She finally asked.

_**  
Does it hurt  
to know I'll never be there  
But it sucks  
to see my face everywhere  
It was you  
who chose to end it like you did  
I was the last to know  
you knew  
exactly what you would do**_

Chase crouched down beside her. She felt his warm breath on her chilled arm as he pulled her against him.

"It's Peyton, Brooke."

Brooke's heart felt as though it stopped beating, "Chase?"

"She's missing."

_**  
And don't say  
you simply lost your way  
They may believe you  
but I never will  
I never will  
I never will  
never again **_**  
**


	2. One Minute

-1**One Minute**

"What do you mean? Missing how?" Brooke felt a solid panic attack coming on.

Chase sat down next to her, "I'm sorry it's me that's having to tell you this. It should have been Luke or Nathan, but they're looking for her. They're in California now. Looking for her."

"Chase, just tell me what you know. Please."

Brooke wasn't so sure she wanted to know, but Peyton was her best friend. Her lifeline. If anything had happened to Peyton, Brooke wanted and needed to know about it.

"No one has heard from her in a week. When Lucas finally called her dorm at Berkley, her roommate answered and explained to him that their was a police investigation into her disappearance. Apparently the roommate went out one night and came back to an absolute mess. Brooke there was…"

Brooke sensed Chase's hesitation, "There was what? Just say it."

Chase inhaled deeply, "There was blood, Brooke. Lots of it. The roommate told Lucas that the police said it could be enough to mean death, but not necessarily. Luke and Nathan are going public with national news about it tomorrow."

"What about Larry? Does her dad know?"

Chase nodded, "He's the one that suggested using the media to find her."

"Any means necessary," Brooke nodded.

Brooke sighed tears barricading themselves on the rims of her sad eyes, "What can I do?"

Chase stood up, knowing Brooke didn't want him there, "You finish your finals and then come home. She'll need you."

Brooke hated Chase, and yet when she looked into his worried eyes she loved him all at the same time. She nodded and hailed a passing cab. When she opened the door she turned to look at her ex-love.

"Do you think she's alive, Chase?" Brooke asked truly wanting to know.

Chase nodded, "I think so. But you know her better than anyone. How do you feel?"

Brooke searched her heart, and in that one fast minute, she knew the answer, "She's alive. I don't know where, or how, but she's surviving."

And with that she got into the cab leaving Chase on the sidewalk in the cool December air.

_**You're going crazy,  
Running on empty,  
You can't make up your mind,  
You try to hide it,  
But you had to say it,  
Restless all this time,  
So completely drained from every thing that's in your life,  
It's so wrong but you had to scream every thought you kept inside,  
**_

Brooke stepped off the plane into the airport terminal. She was home. She had negotiated taking her exams early after explaining to her professors that her friend was the curly blonde they kept seeing on Fox News and CNN. "Without a Trace" the news kept headlining. It made Brooke sick to her stomach. Everything seemed so futile.

And yet she held on to hope. Every time the news flashed another smiling picture of the beautiful girl, Brooke would remember her laughter. She would remember every good thing about Peyton. She would also remember how many bad things Peyton had survived and it gave her hope.

She remembered how they had fought Derek on prom night. Peyton had been so fierce and filled with determination to live. It had inspired Brooke a thousand times over.

As Brooke searched the airport for Haley, she thought about Derek. Psycho-Derek. It had occurred to her once before but the thought was getting stronger and stronger. Could he have escaped and gotten to Peyton?

Her whereabouts were no secret. Her acceptance to Berkley had been in the local paper. Derek could easily have found her. Her thoughts were running rampant. Derek wouldn't kill her. He would keep her.

Before she could think any more about it, she saw Haley waving to her. Brooke tried to smile at seeing her dear friend, but the tears fell instead. Brooke dropped the duffel bag from her shoulder and allowed Haley to wrap her arms around her.

The two girls stayed that way for a few minutes, both crying, both worried. When they finally pulled away from one another, Haley looked Brooke over carefully.

"Come on," she said softly, "Let's get you home."

Brooke let Haley lead her from the airport and to the car. North Carolina was freezing. Brooke hugged herself until the heater in the car warmed up. And even when the car was good and toasty, she still shivered. Reality of Peyton's disappearance was really sinking in. Home was making it all too real.

"They're going to find her, Brooke," Haley finally said as they pulled onto the main road. "Nathan and Lucas won't stop until they find her. You know that, right?"

Brooke nodded, "I know, Hales. It's just, with Christmas coming and all."

"Doesn't seem right, does it?" Haley understood what she meant.

Brooke swiped at a tear that was straying from her eyes, "Has anyone checked in with the mental hospital? You know, with Ian?"

"Ian?" It took Haley a minute, "Oh! Derek? I don't think so. Brooke you don't think he would track her that far do you?"

Brooke nodded, "Are you kidding? I absolutely know he would if he had the chance. You didn't see him that night. He was so determined to make Peyton his. To make her suffer."

"But you two saw him in the institution. Peyton forgave him. I remember she told me that she thought you guys had broken into his psyche and had made him see how screwed up his obsession was."

Brooke shrugged, "Maybe Haley, but anyone can shed a few fake tears and make it look like they get it. Derek-Ian whoever he is, he's completely unstable. Who knows what a few months in the crazy house did to him. Maybe it made him worse than before."

"What should we do?" Haley asked beginning to see Brooke's worry for reality.

"It's on the way to your house," Brooke noted, "Let's stop and see."

_**One minute you laugh,  
The next minute you're slowly sinking into something black,  
I get the feeling that lately nothing ever really lasts**_

_**I keep trying to get up but I keep falling back,  
And you love,  
And you hate,  
And you wait,  
Cause one minute goes fast,  
**_

Brooke and Haley left the mental hospital with fear in their hearts, and armed with new knowledge. Ian had disappeared from the institution four week earlier. Unseen, unheard, unknown.

They were getting close to Haley and Nathan's house, which was Dan and Deb's old place. Neither could speak. They had already decided that Nathan and Lucas could handle it best on their end. It would be their job to inform local police of Ian's breakout and to pray. Simply pray.

"How did everything get so screwed up," Brooke asked rhetorically. "I mean, Peyton and I had the summer of our lives, and then we don't talk to each other for two months. How does that happen?"

Haley shrugged as she drove, "I don't know, Brooke. I mean, life gets busy and even the people we love more than anything or anyone in the world, even they get placed aside. It happens."

"But Peyton? Haley, I'm a bad friend. It makes sense that I would get too busy to call Peyton, but Peyton always called me. Why did she not call for two months?"

_**  
You just can't escape it,  
You're losing patience,  
You wonder what went wrong,  
Everything changes,  
Happy then jaded,  
Always a different song,  
Playin' in your head just when you think you got it down,  
Out of nowhere you realize it's different music playing now,  
**_

One week later, Brooke helped Haley decorate the Christmas tree in the living room. Little James cooed softly in a baby swing. He watched with a child's amusement. Brooke's only source of relief from the grief she was feeling about Peyton had been from James. He smiled at her and laughed at her. Brooke had even found herself smiling on a rare occasion as she played with him. But it was indeed a rare moment.

Her every thought and breath was heavy on Peyton. The local police and FBI had been involved in a massive manhunt for Ian and Peyton. New evidence at Peyton's dorm had given a lead as to who had taken her and it had in fact been Ian.

But no one knew where he had taken her or if she was even still alive.

Brooke shook off the thought as the doorbell rang. She hung a crystal angel near the top of the tree. Her eyes glistened with tears. The angel was the one Haley and Brooke had picked put to represent Peyton. Brooke closed her eyes tightly and then felt a pair of arms wrap around her. It was Lucas.

_**  
One minute you laugh,  
The next minute you're slowly sinking into something black,  
**_

Brooke returned the embrace. She felt warmth beaming from him. Warmth and exhaustion. She pulled away from him and looked into his eyes. Nathan was standing at the door of the living room holding James. Haley was beside him.

"We're going to find her Brooke," Lucas voice held the promise she needed the most.

Brooke looked at the angel again, "I know. I feel it too. But Luke, if Ian has her…"

Luke hugged her again, "I know Brooke. I know."

She pulled away from him again, anger setting in. The last conversation she had with Peyton involved a brokenhearted blonde who had been dumped by her high school sweetheart. "Why did you break her heart, Lucas?"

Lucas looked stunned. No one else had dared to ask him that question. He looked dumbfounded as though he had no real answer. Finally he found his voice, "I thought it would be easier…for her."

Brooke walked away from him, "You were wrong."

She left the room. Minutes later the door to the guest room slammed shut. Silence prevailed.

_**I get the feeling that lately nothing ever really lasts,  
I keep trying to get up but I keep falling back,  
And you love,  
And you hate,  
And you wait,  
Cause one minute goes  
Fast,  
**_

Christmas was sad. Brooke never apologized to Lucas for what she had said. She had no intention of saying she was sorry. They had watched the latest updates on Fox News. They now flashed pictures of Ian next to pictures of Peyton. The nation was on the lookout. But would anyone find them?

It was the question everyone prayed about. As they exchanged a few presents and watched James chew on one new toy after another. The happiness and joy of the season was gone. IT wasn't the same without the smiling enigmatic Peyton Sawyer.

And Brooke felt it the most. She had talked to Whitey in depth about things they could do to help find her. Whitey insisted on letting the police handle it. Karen cried several times about the way Peyton must be feeling. And it was with that statement that everyone stopped feeling sorry for themselves and wondered how bad it was for Peyton, if she was alive, out there alone and lost and terrorized.

Brooke felt guilty when her mind strayed momentarily from Peyton to Chase. Brooke wondered if her life would ever be the same.

_**  
One minute goes fast,  
Fast,  
Fast,  
Fast,  
One minute goes fast,  
Yeah,  
Yeah,  
**_

She saw Chase at the airport when she was waiting for her flight back to New York City. Brooke's heart melted when he smiled at her. He was her truest love. She took note that he was alone and had no luggage.

When he approached her she looked hopefully at him, "Here to see me off?"

"Something like that," Chase smiled sweetly.

Brooke didn't feel as though she was betraying Peyton by feeling some comfort in Chase's presence. She let herself be hugged by him and she took solace in his strong arms.

"She's alive, Brooke," Chase reassured, "And she will come home some day. You'll see."

Brooke bit her lower lip to hold back the tears. She was tired of crying, "I hope you're right."

Chase nodded, "Just don't give up on her."

Brooke waved goodbye as her flight boarded. She sat on the plane and thought again about the things she knew about Peyton…and the things she didn't know. What had gone on in those two months they didn't talk? There were more questions than answers. It made Brooke's head spin. She wanted a drink. A cold hard drink. Maybe numbness was the only way she would make it through.

_**  
One minute you laugh,  
The next minute you're slowly sinking into something black,  
I get the feeling that lately nothing ever really lasts,  
I keep trying to get up but I keep falling back,  
And you love,  
And you hate,  
And you wait,  
Cause one minute goes,  
One minute goes,  
One minute goes,  
Fast**_


End file.
